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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

Time:7:41 pm.

"I have seen war . . . . And I hate war."

There is no war that does not affect everyone. It takes a toll on every aspect of one's life, and proximity to the battlefield affects very little. War incites physical change, mental change, and emotional change. In "Inflecto", players explore the relationships between those living in the Harry Potter Universe during the 1996/97 school year - Harry Potter's sixth year, should you need to orient yourself - and how impending war takes the ultimate toll. Here we hope to involve everyone in this world J.K. Rowling created, from students to Ministry workers, to Professors, to family members and other adults.

We're looking for people who are dedicated . . . willing to get involved and not just sit on the backburning and watch everything go on around them. We want people who adore plotting and making little twists, who commit to the universe. Your passion has to be evident.

Please, audition! Go here and scroll down for more information on how to.

Opening January 2nd.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, August 26th, 2003

Time:10:31 am.
I guess it's not surprising. Nothing of significance has gone here in a few days. But I've said quite a bit of stuff that's significant to me.

I suppose I really am done here.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, August 25th, 2003

Time:5:12 pm.
Mood: productive.
This is purely for wasabimuse:

Hillary, Kelsey and I and as many Student Government members as we can find are getting together to meet at 8:10 AM (twenty minutes before students arrive at the school) on Tuesday the 2nd, the ninth grade orientation day. Try to be there, and spread the word to Maude, Michelle, and Shannon. AND, if you know if Shannon is still even coming to the school, spout that to me too, as we'll need to fill Treasurer quick.

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 24th, 2003

Time:10:31 am.
Mood: busy.
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Comments: Read 13 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 23rd, 2003

Subject:Another Meme, I suppose.
Time:5:45 pm.
Mood: bored.
Boredom took over my entire day. I made cover-collages for my eight binders, wrote letters, and watched television. And, as though that was not enough, now I've created a meme.

Do it if you feel like it, don't if you . . . well, don't.

Which five livejournals do you read the most?

of_evangeline, darkeyedwolf, skye_black, elizzy, antiquedaisies. Although there really are five I read an equal amount, and to cheat I'll also say I read (occultebelta and rhiannariddle a lot.

Why do those five strike you?

Because I can often relate to what the writers are saying. They're people I respect and relate to, and I have the pleasure of knowing. Often times I see things in their journal that don't come across in conversation, which gives me more insight into their lives. It's like watching a really good movie and once you're drawn in, you have to watch it through to the end. Their lives are captivating. Sometimes they're the lives I wish I could lead.

Whose journal has touched/inspired/motivated you the most?

of_evangeline's or lilypiper's.

Of all the journals you have friended, there are probably some written by people you don't know. Who would you like to know better, perhaps through their journal?

krelxi. We've observed on numerous occasions that we probably would get along very well, if we knew each other. It's odd reading about someone's life, knowing you'd like to know them, but acknowledging that you don't.
Comments: Read 5 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, August 19th, 2003

Time:9:01 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
*works furiously on letters, meme, and journal*

*falls asleep at the keyboard*

I've been up for . . . thirty-six hours now? Something like that, with a one and a half hour nap thrown in there. I know some people can do a lot more on a lot less sleep than me, but I've never functioned on this little.

Correction, I've functioned on this little twice. Less than this. Going to France and coming home.

I'm not quite in the mood for that feeling again . . . .
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Time:3:42 pm.
Mood: tired.
More meme.

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Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 18th, 2003

Time:5:20 pm.
Mood: thankful.
Okay. So yes, I did just do a meme. But I deleted it. Not because it wasn't sincere, but because I felt like I didn't say all of what I wanted to say. So I'm redoing it, and I'm taking my time, so every single thing that needed to come off the tip of my tongue will. Read if you feel the need to know my exact feelings toward you, don't if you . . . well, don't.

_-ACollapse )BCollapse )CCollapse )

More a bit later.
Comments: Read 8 orAdd Your Own.

Time:1:04 pm.
Mood: pensive.
It's sort of reached the point I didn't want it to. Or perhaps I did. But I'm about to do something drastic.

There are a lot of people who have me friended, who I don't know. So please, regardless of who you are, whether I know you or not, if you feel like it, tell me why you friended me, please. I need to know.


Comments: Read 15 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 17th, 2003

Time:12:08 am.
Mood: calm.
Although today we spent a lot of time in New Haven visiting relatives -- rather annoying, considering the people generally tick me off with their mentality that I am a little girl of nine, and even more now that I'm old enough to choose either to be respectful and polite, or to simply ignore them -- my father did give me a tour of Yale's campus, or the areas that are open to the public at the moment. Of course, come this year, I'll be taking an official guided tour.

I've wanted to go to Yale for a very long time. Of course, there are other places that interest me, and I certainly will consider going there and apply and perhaps even attend, but Yale always has had a special place in my heart. I've never seen it like I saw it today, though. Before, I was either attending graduations or alumni (and family) functions, or plays. Never just walking around and seeing the school.

The way Yale is in New Haven, you never really have to leave the general campus area, if you choose to, which means I can avoid irritating family types for the most part, thank goodness. And although much of New Haven is ghetto, including the area where my family lives, downtown at Yale is nice. Upscale, traditional New England, comfortable, young, cool. There are so many places . . . book store restaurants, clubs, cafes, stores, the green . . . places to just be if there's nothing else to do. Not to mention the fact that the school is beautiful. It's peaceful there. And while I'm sure that it's quite different with students living there, the peace remains. It's the same peace that's been there since the first time I went when I was . . . four or five.

Recently I was having doubts. Or, rather, I was acknowledging that there are other places I need to visit and get information about and apply to . . . and that in the end this school might not be my first choice. And after I go to the other places . . . UCLA, Howard University (a Historically Black College or University that provides a full scholarship if you score over a 1300, and a school where my grandfather was a provost, and much of my family attended . . . a place where I could pledge AKA and do the entire "Young, black female" blah blah thing . . . the place where I will *not* go but it is required that I apply), NYU, Julliard (which I will not attend) Columbia . . . Brown and Carnegie Mellon . . . hey, Yale still might not be my first choice. But after today, the idea of me walking down Hall Street to get to Toad's after class before I go back to Ramsan to study doesn't seem so out there anymore.

In other news, I find freshman_year outragous. Come on, class of '05. Will we stand for this?

*snobbily plots Junior-ish things*
Comments: Read 10 orAdd Your Own.

Saturday, August 16th, 2003

Time:12:10 pm.
There was some excellent music in France, especially this weird, annoying song called Chihuaua in which this dog goes clubbing with a bunch of hot chicks. A lot of these songs have a great deal of meaning for me . . . and I need to find them on Amazon.com and then figure out how the hell to buy them.

But one group I heard for the first time in a restaurant across from the Comedie over a quick dinner before a show was Junior Senior. I saw their video, Move Your Feet . . . featuring a squirrel running around everywhere, and then the words "GET NAKED" flashing across the screen. It was the most amazingly hilarious video. And the song . . . I dunno, it's one of those songs you can't help but dance to, whether you're excellent or you suck. I bought their CD last night, and all the memories came flooding back. It makes me want to cry, but all I can do is dance.

If you can, buy the Junior Senior CD. Feel the love and Get Naked.

Move your damn feet.
Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 15th, 2003

Time:11:21 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
And herein lie pictures of me in France. In each picture, I'll obviously be the black girl with braids and medium skin, if you need help identifying me. *tries not to wibble about weight and looking fat or ugly or something*

Enjoy. And let me know if you can't see. If you can't, they're available here in the photos section, but it's best if you look at them full sized.

In The Ancient Theatre In Orange -- Far LeftCollapse )

In Front Of The Comedie Francaise -- Far RightCollapse )

Comedie Francaise, Group Shot -- Right Of CenterCollapse )

In Front Of The Pont d'AvignonCollapse )

Big Picture -- Maia and RachelCollapse )

Final Dinner, Bottom Right, At Le Chien Qui FumeCollapse )

Creperie -- Guess WhereCollapse )

Aie! Bathingsuit Shot. Beware My Nude Stomach. Can Kill. Ignore The Flab. Upper LeftCollapse )
Comments: Read 41 orAdd Your Own.

Time:5:02 pm.
Mood: blah.
I feel a little like I'm falling apart. I'm not my normal self lately. Contrary to whatever belief may have been developed on the internet front, I usually am quite together. Or, at least, I can put forth an image of such. But now? I'm torn up, undone, incomplete, and about thirteen steps behind everyone else. I hope it goes away within the week, because I hate this feeling.

My hair is a mess, I have a breakout, I have (once again) a breakout of tenia versacolor on my back and neck, I've busted open both of my knees and have bloody, ugly scars . . . I now have a bit of a scar on my foot from where I stepped on a shard of glass. I can't get bits of the red nailpolish off my toenails, one toenail, the one I lost in France, is growing back but slowly. My pinkie toenails have always been small, but it just looks and feels weird with one missing. My eyebrows are undone, my legs and other parts are unshaven, I feel like I've gained some extra fat (which probably isn't incorrect, knowing that I am rather . . . fat), aside from the tiny bumps on my face, I have a rather large zit on my chin, next to my dimple, that's making it stand out in an awkward manner. My clothes that I've loved and worn a thousand times suddenly feel like they don't fit me, and they don't look right. I haven't even started any of my summer reading or assignments (which isn't too bad . . . I can do it in three days, tops).

This is not me. Not at all. Those problems up there? Yeah, I have *some* of them upon occasion. But outwardly . . . I'm supposed to be together. I'm supposed to at least look together.

Sena called me the other day, and we were talking for about an hour and a half . . . and then I was speaking to my mum on the phone this morning. This year really is going to be hard. Our junior year . . . in a sense (a really exaggerated, really hyper sense . . . the type that goes along with me) everything has been leading up to now. Everything I've learned has defined what classes I'm taking, and my attentiveness and work ethic up until now have made a huge difference in where I am. And now . . . well, I think up until this year, you could've bull shitted up until now (Or . . . "I" could've except I couldn't've) and doing well this year is what matters. Or, at least, that's how it's presented to us.

Sena and I have booked our hospital beds. We're going to have many a nervous breakdown.

But before we even start thinking about school, I need to get myself together. And fix all . . . *points up* that.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:10:21 am.
antiquedaisies [10:09 AM]: No! Tell me!
pootsieinpink [10:10 AM]: But I just don't think it's "not a big deal."
antiquedaisies [10:10 AM]: Neither do I. Haha, I wrote in my letter to Trish that it seemed like an Evil Plot.
pootsieinpink [10:10 AM]: I think it's FIRST OF ALL a weird coincidence that a computer virus would shut down all the computers in the district of columbia (or some of the major ones)
pootsieinpink [10:11 AM]: And then like two days later
antiquedaisiesvv [10:11 AM]: Power outtage.
pootsieinpink [10:11 AM]: a power outtage in Canada (and why we get our power from Canada, I'd like to know)
antiquedaisies [10:11 AM]: Yes. Very peculiar.
pootsieinpink [10:11 AM]: shuts down a major chunk of America.
pootsieinpink [10:11 AM]: Yeah.
pootsieinpink [10:11 AM]: And then, if it was some cascading thing, and they have backup systems and alternate plans and whatnot
pootsieinpink [10:12 AM]: when a pattern began and it was outtage in ottowa, outtage in NY State, outtage in Albany
pootsieinpink [10:12 AM]: it could not be stopped. The last time there was a blackout of this magnitude was the 60s, and I thought technology improved since the sixties.
antiquedaisies [10:12 AM]: *nods*
pootsieinpink [10:12 AM]: And . . . what else did my mom and I decide?
pootsieinpink [10:13 AM]: Oh, yeah.
pootsieinpink [10:13 AM]: I don't know.
pootsieinpink [10:13 AM]: If some sort of "terrorist activity" was going to occur, it would seem like now would be the time someone would strike.
pootsieinpink [10:13 AM]: When you can't get in New York, you can't get out of New York. People are on the streets walking, sleeping, stuck. And then in major airports and cities from here to Ottowa to New Jersey, to Detroid, people are stuck, sitting and waiting.
pootsieinpink [10:14 AM]: Detroit*
pootsieinpink [10:14 AM]: To me, everything feels sinister. But then, that could be me.
pootsieinpink [10:14 AM]: What think you?
antiquedaisies [10:16 AM]: Yes, I think you are right... or at least partly. This does seem like a good chance for terrorists to strike.... If something was going to happen, it would happen while the power was out.
pootsieinpink [10:17 AM]: . . . yeah. It just seems so . . . set up.
pootsieinpink [10:17 AM]: And then, it's *so* idiotic that the water and power would be connected.
pootsieinpink [10:18 AM]: Like, I know my mother spoke to my aunt this morning, and she lives in the heart of midtown at Times Square . . . and she and her husband were going walking, looking for food 'cause they can't get any *water* in their own flat.
pootsieinpink [10:18 AM]: *shrugs* It just doesn't seem as innocent as politicians and the media is trying to make it sound.
pootsieinpink [10:19 AM]: Anyway, that's my conspiracy theory.
antiquedaisies [10:19 AM]: I love conspiracy theories. Water and power shouldn't be connected.
pootsieinpink [10:20 AM]: *nods*
pootsieinpink [10:21 AM]: *plays the psycho music*
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, August 14th, 2003

Time:9:56 pm.
Mood: okay.
Hooray for lack of power in the suburbs of New York (i.e. the giant 'burb of Connecticut!)! Hooray for no lights. Hooray for battery powered stored up in laptops! Hooray for the phone line working! Whee! Hooray for nothing warm to eat, so cold mac and (not)cheese and cold cuts and fruit for dinner. Hooray for it all.

I do believe I'm having a great deal of fun. While some look upon this blackout as a hindrance, I find it as an oppertunity to explore all the naughty things I can do to scare people in the dark. The only scary part of this (as stated in the past) is that I live by some very nice, dark, scary woods from which people have already tried to break into my room. And this power outage has killed the alarm system. So that's not as fun, but still fun. I just won't sleep until the power comes back.

I have precisely an hour and thirteen minutes stored up on this computer, and I will milk them for all they're worth.

Yay for dial-up.



So. I've discovered that while it might be nice to have a laptop right now, I have nothing to do. I'm sweating like a pig, I can't go outside because it really is . . . well, black . . . and intimidating, and there are bugs. Before the cell-phones stopped working, I called my people in New York, so I'm not so much worried about people.

Or, at least, when I wrote that up there, I wasn't. But then I got to thinking.

Hey. Our alarm system is out. Which means everyone else who has alarm systems between as far east as . . . here (CT), west as Detroit, north as Canada, and south as . . . well, New York and parts of New Jersey . . . well, those are out too.

It's making me nervous, which is unfortunate. I remember learning about the longest blackout in the history of New York, and seeing it in the musical Bring In Da Noise, Bring In Da Funk. It's simply not a happy thing. And what happens whenever there's a blackout? Looting and robbery and theft and . . . .

Comments: Read 7 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, August 12th, 2003

Time:5:39 pm.
Mood: amused.
I was pretty much forcing myself not to do these, but I couldn't pass this one up as it is RR's, and I really do have some sort of strange fetish for a sharpened, pink eraser and black tipped . . . well, look.

<td bgcolor="#000000">User Name</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">sexual obsession</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">No. 2 Pencils </td></tr><td bgcolor="#000000">sperm count</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">3.19703760880174e+21</td></tr>
Sperm Count by RR
Created with quill18</a>'s MemeGen!
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Time:12:58 pm.
Mood: sore.
Good gracious . . . .

I did have a point to make. Really. But I can't.

I can't eat anything. I went to the dentist this morning . . . my teeth hurt. My jaw hurts. My face hurts. I'm hungry, and this entire "not eating" thing is pissing me off.

That is all.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, August 11th, 2003

Time:12:30 pm.
Mood:reasonably shallow.
So I'm vain. Sure. No big deal.

Poll #167165 School Styles

The most shallow of questions . . . In preparation for the new, upcoming school year, how should I style my hair (a style that I will, needless to say, maintain for months.)?

Totally Mod, baby. Straight, eyebrow length bangs, straight cut to the shoulders. Retro-girl.
More braids, naturally. Thousands of tiny individuals, curly on the ends, that hang down to the middle of your back. You know, how it's been since June.
Choppy layers and long bangs. Funky and nuts. Awesome.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Time:11:41 am.
Mood: contemplative.
I'm really excited for school to start. Of course, I'm not ready for the summer to be over, but I'm ready to go back and see who has changed and who hasn't. Who is more annoying, who has proven to be pretty cool. Who's new, who is cuter . . . and how it feels to be a Junior.

I'm excited to be one of the Vice Presidents of the Student Government, knowing all that we're going to do this year, especially after last year's Student Government was ineffective. I'm glad to know that it's not going to be a whole lot of wasted time and energy. I'm also excited to be Vice President of Thespians, just because I know that the Theatre Department is a royal, beautiful mess and it's good to know that this year, with the way we've set Thespians up, that the students involved with running the department will be efficient. I'm excited for the first years coming in. I'm glad to see some of my friends as fourth years. I can't wait for our shows.

I look back to this very moment last year, and I can see the differences. Last year, this time, I was fifteen and still a Freshman. I was awkward and self-conscious, and I lacked a lot of the discipline and focus I have now. I was unsure of my every action, and everything said to me defined who I was. I was more sensative than I am now, and rather naive.

Now? I'm going into my second-to-last year of High School a bit more surefooted, a bit more confident. I'm going in responsible and grown, more like a young adult than the child I was a year ago. I've matured, and I think that's what matters most.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, August 8th, 2003

Time:10:56 am.
Mood: rejected.
I'm so sad right now. It sounds pathetic to type and it makes me feel even more pathetic reading it, but it's the truth. I haven't felt this crappy in a while.

And having a crying fit absolutely isn't helping.

I feel deprived. But worse, I know it's my fault I feel this way. In my inability to simply relax and be laid back and have a good time, not only have a developed myself a physical disorder, but I get lonely, because in truth I'm not that close to people. I look at girls who go to parties with their friends and girls who, when sitting in the Outback Steakhouse with their family waiting for a table, get calls on their cell phones from their mates and have someone to talk to. I have never had that.

I've never been patient enough for that. It's strange, I have patience for a lot, but never for people my age. I went to the movies the other night with my dad and siblings, and I walked out of the theater with the complete conviction that I hated most middle school kids. I decided that they were highly annoying in their arrogance, in their conviction that as thirteen year olds they are the coolest kids on the block. It's that sort of confidence that is bred for some in middle school, and lost for others.

Now I feel horrible about it. After all, why should I hate? They've only got what I really wish I had. Close enough friends to hang out and have fun with. I just have a very low tolerence level for stupidity and immaturity. There are times when it's fun, yes, but there are times when I can't stand it.

I've figured it out. I used to think it was everyone else's problem. But now I get it. It's really mine.

It's my problem. I'm the one with the attitude and the stick-up-ass complex. I'm the one who is no more special than any other person on the street. So how dare I look at others and decide that they're irritating? They're all I've got.

I got through elementary school with no friends. I got through middle school with none. I'm in high school, and I want them, and now I've realized that I can't really have any.

And it hurts more than anything else in the world.

There's so much I wish I was that I'm not. So much that would prevent hurt feelings on my part and on others. I wish I were a kinder person. I wish I cared more. I wish I was funnier, more charming, more intellectual, more interesting to be to talk to. I wish I were talented enough to be something. I wish I was great enough to be around.

I'm ready to start over. Again.
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Rachel.

View:User Info.
You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.